Breaking The Chains That Hold You Back

When working on creating the future we want, we all have issues to deal with.  Perhaps the most challenging is ourselves because what we do everyday begins with our beliefs which influence our thoughts and finally our actions which determine our future.  The trouble is our beliefs may be based on what I call “stinkin’ thinkin'”.   Stinkin’ thinkin’ are chains that bind us to where we are right now and keep us from where we want to be.  Breaking the chains of stinkin’ thinkin’ takes work.

For instance, you’re driving down the road and a car swerves in front of you. Where does your mind go?   That so and so, cut me off!   That driver is trying to hurt me!  That driver is trying to impose their will on me!

The truth is, what you witnessed was a driver who cut you off.  It is your belief system that gets your thoughts to add the other potential meanings to what you witnessed.  In truth, the driver may not have seen you, didn’t mean to hurt you, or impose their will on you, they just made a driving error.  We all make driving errors and it would be a rare person who is making those errors to purposely hurt or infuriate the other drivers.

So our stinkin’ thinkin’ adds meaning, which may or may not be true, to what we see and experience every day.

Recognizing chains that bind us is an important skill to have to move forward in our lives.

For business, let’s say real estate investors, can stinkin’ thinkin’ hurt us? It sure can!  Here’s a couple of examples.

  • You find a house that needs a lot of work, you’ve arrived at a price you think is fair due to all the work you will need to do.  Your stinkin’ thinkin’ kicks in and says things like “This owner will never accept that offer.” “If the owner accepts this offer I won’t be able to raise the money to close in time.”

The truth is you don’t know if the owner will accept the offer not until you make it. AND you don’t know if you’ll be able to raise the money to close until you have that sweet deal under contract and start talking to the people with money about it.

Does stinkin’ thinkin’ get in the way at 9 – 5 jobs, at church, or in families?  I should say so.

  • Suppose someone says something, you take it personally and are offended. Unless the statement the person made is directed right at you, you could be, and probably are, wrong in your interpretation of the statement.

The trouble happens when you don’t seek clarification from the person who made the statement and you choose to be offended (yes being offended is a choice), even though they may never have intended to offend you.  Ask yourself this question.  “Have I ever offended someone when I really didn’t intend to offend?”   Other people do that too.

Ever been afraid to ask the boss for the raise or transfer you’d like? Why?  Is it FEAR, (False Evidence, Appearing, Real)?

Fear is often an emotional chain that is binds us from getting what we want.

Breaking the chains that keep you from asking questions is an important skill.  One thing I’ve learned over the years is that answer to a question that isn’t asked is always NO.  So if you ask you always have a better chance of a YES.  Ask with tact and skill and you have an even better chance of a yes, but ask.

We all attach meaning to the things that are going on in our lives.  This is our truth!  I’m not saying don’t make judgments just know when your judgment might be influenced due to stinkin’ thinkin’.  For instance, how many of us have heard the voices in our head tell us we couldn’t do something and then we actually do it?

I’ve heard many successful people say that the road to success is 90% mental and 10% hard work.  This is because once you believe you can do it and are driven to bypass any obstacles stinkin’ thinkin’ puts in your way, you’ll figure out a way to get it done and it really won’t seem that hard any more.

My wife and I both understand the need to recognize the stinkin’ thinkin’ in our lives and get past it so we can grow and prosper and help others do the same.  It is not something you can do easily on your own.  I have found that a good coach who will be very honest with you can be your biggest help.

All hugely successful people I know have one or more coaches.  Some of these people pay tens of thousands of dollars to have these coaches work with them for a year.  These coaches help their students expand their thinking, see where they are making mistakes and so forth.  They may become a friend but they aren’t hired to be your friend, they are hired to help you become what you hired them for.

Our beliefs and thinking have gotten us to where ever we are in life.  If you want to go somewhere else, you need different beliefs and thoughts.  So how are you going to do that?

We recently met and spent a Saturday with Mr. Paul Finck.  That Saturday helped us to identify and get rid of some of our Stinkin’ Thinkin’.  We even spent a few moments with Paul one-on-one, he’s a nice guy but more importantly a good coach.

Paul has a program called the Chain Breaker’s Club that we have joined. If you would like to know more, click here.

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